The Roar of a Broken Heart
by breakingsilence
Summary: RM. Her blue eyes closed no longer open starring at you with hope of you staying…not leaving her. Ever. You promise you won’t as you watch her life slip away. Rated T to be safe.


You touch her chaste lips feeling them drying underneath your fingertips. And you watch. Her blue eyes closed no longer open starring at you with hope of you staying…not leaving her. Ever. You promise you won't as you watch her life slip away. You feel her chest start to rise and fall less frequently, the whole time wondering why you can't move…do anything, something to get help.

She's the love of you life. Lying in your arms…dying. In true Romeo and Juliet fashion. The Star-Crossed lovers, except he's not dying…not yet. His heart wrenches in his chest, the pain seeping through him. You touch her neck to feel her pulse; the soft drum barely beats beneath your fingers.

"Marissa?" you call hoping for some sort-of answer. Anything to help the pain in your chest. The slow beating becomes slower…and slower until you can barely notice. The pain never stops unlike her heartbeat.

You notice the whole scene as you look away from her stone features. The car…exploding with fire. Like the rage of his heart.

The tears finally come. You put your face into her hair and let them fall. Her hair is soft beneath your face as you pull away looking at her. Her stone features unmoving unlike the wild beat of your heart.

Your lips move to hers in a final kiss. They're dry beneath your lips wet with sweat and tears. You pull away and just hold your arms for a long time, unmoving. She's dead and you're not. That's not how it's supposed to end.

You finally move enough to where you can reach your cell phone. You don't really know where you are or who to call. Julie needs to know but you don't want to have to explain to Julie Cooper how her daughter just died and now is lying motionless in your lap.

You call Sandy. You don't say much, not like you do much anyway. You sit there watching. Staring at her motionless beauty. It finally hits you, you'll never touch her or kiss her or even hold her as she cries ever again.

It wasn't enduring; even when she was going away you knew that someday you'd see her again. That her heart still had a place for you now it wasn't even there anymore.

Sandy comes and looks down at you. You see his eyes water as he looks away from her. He tells you to call the police but you can't. Your body won't move. You hold the stiff body closer even as he tells you to call, repeatedly.

You can't move. He must finally realize you're unwilling to cooperate because he calls himself. The details are few and most unknown to Sandy.

He calls Jimmy. He's waiting at the airport for his baby Coop. His little girl who is never going to get off of that airplane.

Then it hits you, not for the first time that night that it's _your_ fault. Marissa is dead because of you and your stupidity. You couldn't just try and pull over.

"It's not your fault." Sandy says looking directly at you.

You only nod, how would he ever know?

The ride to the morgue is quite. They took the body away from you on arrival. You don't argue or even put up a struggle. You watch as they take the girl away from you. The white shirt she was wearing stained with dried brown blood. You're not sure if it's hers or your own.

You know that some of her blood has mixed with your open wounds and somehow, it's comforting. Her blood now runs through your veins.

Seth meets you there. For once in your life you're pretty sure he doesn't know what to say. His eyes don't meet yours as he looks at you. You know it has to be a powerful for Seth Cohen to be silent.

He wraps his arms around you in a hug you don't reply to. You only stand there like a stone wall. He moves away obviously feeling the awkwardness. Seth could be smart when he wanted to be.

"I'm here." Obviously you think as you just nod.

The last words leaving your lips were her name. You somehow like that. You don't want to change that. Her lips were the last to touch yours and somehow you plan to keep it like that.

Sandy takes you home. You go to the pool house and ignore Kirsten's apologizes and back pats and attempted hugs. You go to the pool house and lock the door. You pull down the blinds and look at the bed. It somehow seems so much bigger. Maybe because you planned to share it with her again someday.

You lay down staring up to the ceiling but sleep never takes you as its prisoner. You lay awake the whole night. No one comes to your door the next day. You don't come to theirs. It's a silent agreement.

Day three, three days, you still haven't changed from your bloody shirt. The blood has started to become crusty but you don't dare pull it from your body. It still has a smell of her.

"_You were the first person I met here and I'd kind-of like to be the last to say goodbye." _

You didn't know why but her memories over take you. The way her hair moved on her shoulders and how tiny her hips were underneath you're large hands. How soft her skin was underneath your calloused hands.

Seth opens the door. He comes in Summer at his side. She stands at the door, apparently afraid of his wrath, or just hated him. He wasn't sure which.

"Hey man." He says rubbing the back of his head.

You nod. Still not speaking.

"Marissa's…they're…" the words don't come out.

"I'm not going."

You didn't say another word. You couldn't go. It wasn't time to say goodbye.

It never would be.

Your heart beat for her, and only her.

Your Marissa.


End file.
